New Wednesday Blood

A few Reviews here for you. Bit of a bumper issue for the first Wednesday i'm doing this, just some juicy buggers to get your teeth into

KICK-ASS
If anyone has been to the commodore theatre in Aberystwyth, then you will now it is a moulding piece of shite in comparison to Vue cinemas. One screen, crackly sound, spots on the picture from the projection. In fact, i'm suprised the film isnt turned by hand. But for a couple every hours at 7:30pm, every evening, the old screen shows a film. one film a week, and if its a big film (read: twilight) then it shows it for two. So, on a date, i went there to see kick-ass. I'd already heard good reviews, but nothing, even the bloke standing outside saying "its so fucking hilarious maaaaaaaate" could have prepared me for the assault on my bladder through laughing. The last time i saw a film this funny in the cinema, it was a little british number called "Hot Fuzz," and seeing a granny getting fly-kicked in the face is one of those things you cant not laugh at. So Kick-Ass. Following the story of an average (albeit geeky) New York lad's quest to be a super hero hads: a great plot, great gags (none of which are forced), a suitable level of cheese, and it has McLovin and a little girl killing people and saying "cunt" in it. What more could you want?
And best of all, its the fact it doesnt take itself too seriously. There is no consideration for the laws of physics, but not in a "fast and furious" way. I can recommend this film to anyone, except those with a mortal fear of little girls, blood, violence and bad language. So no pussies are allowed to watch my film of the year so far.

Score: 10/10

SHILAM INDIAN RESTAURANT, ABERYSTWYTH
I am a big fan of indian food. If you are too, then you may want to avoid this restaurant. Sure, you can do worse, and it might be better getting a takeaway, but lets just say i didnt leave a tip. and i used to be a waiter.
Jo and I arrived there at 8pm, and got the menu's. Ordered drinks at 8:15, ordered food at 8:30, food arrived at 8:50. Everytime asking a waiter to come and take the damn orders. Now im not a shy person. i can talk to Jo for hours on end. But i personally dont like to wait that long for anything. a pint of beer cost me £3.40, which i can deal with in a restaurant, and a Meat Sagwala £7 odd. For my £7 sterling i recieved a small plate of curry. yes, small. And in every bite i chewed through a cumin seed. "yummy," i hear you cry. "Cumin? I LOVE cumin." Riiiiiiiight. There isnt anything wrong with a little cumin, but a seed in every mouthful? er, no thanks. The rice was dry and in minimal quantities too. See a developing trend?
So, for a recap, service was slow, the drinks were ok...ish, the portions were small, the rice and the meat was dry and for relatively tasteless food, there sure were alot of cumin seeds. Not again thanks.

Score: 4/10

NEED FOR SPEED: SHIFT
Need for speed is one of those game series which is not quite sure what it is. It must walk around all day like the ugly duckling thinking "what the fuck am i, and where the fuck did i come from?" And im asking the same questions: "Are you an arcade street racer or are you trying to bring car modifying into the Gran Turismo genre?"
Ive concluded the answer is BOTH! yes, thats right, you heard it here....well....not first because the games been out for a couple of months, but you did hear it here. Shift has tried to fuse together street and track racing. Bear with me.
Essentially, the idea of the game is to bomb around tracks in your modified street/track monster and beat the opponents to earn money, and to drive well to gain driver points. NOW, the money for positions malarkey is all well and good, but the driver point system iiis.....well, a massive, massive contradiction. If it were a street racing game, this would be fine, no problem, because street racing is a very arcadey environment. When youre on a track, with racing lines, apexes, and kitty litter traps, ramming the car in front up the arse to gain points for a "dirty overtake" or a "tap out" seems a bit stupid and irrelevant. But it is fun smashing up a Bugatti Veyron. Ye, i just said it.
On the whole, however, Shift is a pretty solid game. Theres plenty of variety in the cars, lots of tuning options, some pretty sweet graphics, loads of official and unofficial tracks and the set paint-jobs aren't too bad (you'd be mad to try and do your own). Its just the silliness with the points system makes sticking to the track-based racing a bit pointless, because it is much quicker and goes totally unpunished.

Score: 7/10

TESCO VALUE COLESLAW
Oniony, acidic and hardly any carrots. But for 46p for a 500g tub, who's complaining?

Scores:
Flavour - 4/10
Value - 8/10
Overall - 6/10

COASTAL SPINS RADIO SHOW (KUBE RADIO) www.kuberadio.com
I decided to review this show as one of the hosts, Lauren Naish, lives in my block in uni, and all would be rosy. So i thought. The WORST part of this radio show is that it airs between 10 and 12 on a wednesday morning. Sorry, did i say worst? i meant the ONLY bad part of this radio show is that it airs between 10 and 12 on a wednesday morning. It is a brilliant show. And i'm not only saying this because Lauren is a friend, the whole idea of the show is to play music from across the pond from America (boo hiss) and Canada (whoop whoop). Today, however, was a little different, as Lauren and her co-host, Libby Jay Chrisholm, decided to play some of their favourite songs knocking about overseas. And it really is all goooooood.
Now, i am a fan of chilled mornings, and this morning the ladies on Kube provided the perfect soundtrack. Whilst it may not have been "my" type of music, the chilled, acoustic, bittersweet, piano and guitar rythyms wafting through the room as i lay in bed were gorgeous. Sure, the music may have been a bit samey throughout, but how is that a bad thing? I'm seriously considering writing a letter to the BBC to get that fat twat Moyles off the air and plonk these two in his place. Job well done girls.

Score: 10/10